I feel like the mental game is way more important than the physical one with anal. In my head oral sex (giving and receiving) would possibly be ok but actual penetrative sex is out. That said, if you want to play this game then. I’m just guessing here, but i think a large part of it is mindset. Never really understood how that worked.
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Butt fucked virgins.
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Piv sex — no lube, no pain. Later we broke up.